Captain Paul Hornblower

Yesterday I got on the city bus from work to start my journey home. The previous day it never showed up because the Port Authority has a very serious driver shortage problem. So I was glad it showed up even though it was about 10 minutes late.

But as soon as I boarded, the driver asked me if I new were Fort Duquesne Blvd was located. I thought he was joking. He was a kid, too young to be wrangling a bus, I would think. I said it was one of the roads you take on the other side of the Fort Duquesne Bridge at the Point (the confluence of the three rivers in Pittsburgh). Then he asked direction to the bridge. I blinked thinking he was going to laugh and say he was kidding. No, he was a brand new driver and was pressed into service before knowing where to go.

Yesterday he took the wrong freeway turn-off and ended up going over the Veterans Bridge instead which is no where near were he wanted to be. Apparently his boss chewed him out and he didn’t want to do that again. I can’t imagine how he got a double tandem bus turned around down there. If it was me I would have of gotten out and walked away for good. So he was a little nervous today thinking his nightmare would repeat itself.

So I told him when he got us to the North-side I would come up and talk him down. Should of stayed up there because he was about to make the same mistake again turning the bus towards the Veterans Bridge.

So I got up next to him and starting telling him which lanes to get into and what to expect up ahead. I have to admit to the feeling of power and complete authority telling the bus driver where to go while standing in front of that big windshield watching the little cars scramble out of the way. I felt like the captain of a proud vessel standing next to his trusty helmsmen as they go into battle.

After getting on Fort Duquesne Blvd. we had to make a ninety degree turn on Stanwix street and wouldn’t you know some butt-head had his little tiny car way-way beyond the stop line, which is put there so the buses can make that tight turn. So we exersised our right-away and went nose to nose with him. I think driver of the car saw me smile, the smile I give when no quarter would be taken, and saw real fear in his eyes. He couldn’t back up fast enough.

The first stop downtown was mine and I told him he was on his own. He thanked me and assured me that he could take it from here. I bailed out and hustled to catch my next bus for the final leg home. Hopefully that driver knows where he’s going.